JANINE: Big crowd in tonight, Jeff. JEFF: Including Bob the superfan. Bob here has never actually seen Jess perform. JANINE: Let’s help him picture her in his head - we can use metaphors and similes.

Editor's Note: APYs listed in this article are up-to-date as of the time of publication. They may fluctuate (up or down) as the Fed rate changes. CNBC Select will update as changes are made public.